Mandeep Hamlet to himself

Shall I? Or shall I not. That is the question. The ghost speaks to me in a trance such as my fathers. I also feel that Claudius’s soul is covered in mill weed and ash. His talk sounds like the devil preaching. I am not a man to act in rash motions. I will prove to myself that he has committed the dreaded deed of regicide. This player that has entered my dominion will help me secure my thoughts. I will add a few lines here and there, to make it seem exactly what the ghost protruded. I promise myself that I will take revenge if that ass even flinches. My plans make sense… right? Logically, if he killed my father he will blench. If he blenches I kill him. Why do I feel like crap though? Has Claudius committed a deed I always wanted to follow through on myself. If I wanted my father dead, then I am no different from Claudius. O fie! Fie. My mother? That is the reason. O fie! Fie! O why, my mother? Why Gertrude? Calm down Hamlet, you are over-thinking things now. No I am not. Yes you are. O what am I saying, arguing with myself? I must gather my thoughts. That is it! He blenches; I shove a sword down his mouth.

Mandeep Hamlet to Polonius

I know I have inquired about your maiden daughter, yet I ask again, who is your daughter? Let me tell you something O powerful politician, your bliss is in your daughter’s happiness. If she hath fallen in love with a peasant, then let her marry. She hath not be happy with any other man, especially the one you choose for her. She will be content and prosperous with her choice. Let me explain to you the feeling of love. Its warmth covers you like a wool blanket. Enticing attraction can take over a man, even to madness. Love is like a midsummer storm, you don’t even know you are in love, until you are drenched in joy. Permission to love is not granted by parents, it is granted by God. Even maggots seem to be beautiful when you are in love. Love cannot be shackled by the iron of social position. The fruit of her whom will be your blood still, even it is the son of a prince or a peasant.

Mandeep Hamlet to Polonius

Catch a fish have you yet? The sun has set in the south; do you have word on the King? You know, Polonius is German for egghead. I here you a statesman, does this mean you keep track of the state of Denmark’s prostitutes. I believe I have seen you before… in a pig pen. Do you know when my father was alive, you kissed his feet. Even then I could not see your reflection, you vampire.

Mandeep Hamlet to Claudius

King of Denmark, is it wise to allow the Norwegians entrance into Denmark? I have been reading in the Bible that the Norwegians have the ability to attack us in the illusion of attacking Poland. Although the moon told me yesterday that you are a very wise man, I just want you, the King, to be alert. Fortinbras is not a man to be trusted in. How can you of all people place trust in anyone, especially your enemy. I bare witness to your drunkard behaviour my uncle. You are so high in the ecstasy of being King and having a thirsty wife, that you lack the knowledge to do something decent with your power. Besides flooding the streets of Denmark with an awe inspiring amount of corruption, you are now allowing those Norwegian fishmongers into Denmark. Bloody hell! I cannot do much, for I have lost my wits. I am but a flowing river through the forest of unease that meanders around pain and into an ocean of confusion. Fie! Fie! Take care of this old whore will you; Denmark needs a fishmonger like you to take care of it. Ahhh, I must go now. The trees beckon me to assist them in mourning over a diseased oak.

Dearest Laertes

Dearest Laertes,
I have done as you and our frothy rump-fed pignut father have asked; I have kept my distance from my dearest Hamlet. It is painful not to see his face every day. I love him Laeretes, “And hath given countenance to his speech, with almost all the holy vows of heaven.” I trust him with all my heart. But as I have also said that your advice is locked away in my memory I have made an effort to follow it, even though it causes me pain.
How are you doing in France? Is it all it was before? Are you doing as I am, following our father’s advice? I wish I was there with you. I would love to travel to anywhere but here. The war, my lost love, it all hurts to be around. You on the other hand get to start over completely fresh. I have to say I am jealous of you. Maybe in a couple of years I will be able to travel the world, maybe by boat. Don’t forget what father has said, “Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar.” One thing with father not all his advice is useful but sometimes he can pull something out. I miss you dearly Laertes. Do behave yourself.

Love your dearest sister, Ophelia

Dearest Father

Dearest Father,
I am writing to you on behalf of my hurting heart and confused mind. I know earlier you had said, “Tis told me he hath very oft of late, given private time to you, and you yourself, have of your audience been most free and bounteous.” I know that I previously said Hamlet offers much affection but it is not in the way you think. It is the love of friendship and I miss that. You also say I act like a foolish little baby, but father I am not your little girl anymore. I am grown up and as much as I respect you I am having great difficulty agreeing with your suggestions. As I mentioned before he is constantly talked about in an honourable way but again you didn’t seem to listen to me; your one and only daughter. But father if it is your wish I will stay away from my loving Hamlet and you will see the agony and sadness in my eyes every day.

Love your dearest, Ophelia

What to do?

Dear Ophelia,

I am baffled to how much influence my father has on me. I really should tell him what’s on my mind. A father will love their daughter no matter what...right? I would like to tell him I really do love dear Hamlet but in reality he does say I am below him. What am I saying? He is a prince I am not even close. I am just a Lord's daughter. Hamlet does not deserve a nothing like me. I am an artless fool-born foot licker compared to the ever affectionate Hamlet. I live in his kingdom as a "visitor" to his home. No! Why am I letting my darn daddy get into my head? I don’t know what to do. My heart tells me one thing but my head tells me another. I wish there was a sign to show me what to do.

Love you dearest,
Ophelia